December, 2008:

Holidaze. Good word to describe the current state of affairs for yours truly. I think it has been a result of not really listening or paying attention to the inner voice of myself, but hopefully I’m refocused on listening now.

Today I’m starting to refocus on being aware of what I eat. I found the 2008 New Years Resolutions list. Wow-wee! Boy did I not look at it! Yeah I make a LIST, not just one thing. It gives me many targets and keeps me busy. But obviously that didn’t work this year! Here is the list:

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS FOR 2008

• pay down credit card debt
• work on porfolio, website and resume
• get more fit [start weight 148 in jan], increase strength and flexibility
• Man Kind Project – Men of Service for April
• Alcohol moderation – remember New Years Day
• Start/Do art project – book of parks
• Eat healthier
• Get Daily Caloric Intake Test
• Get Body Fat Test
• Be less self critical
• Be more self confident
• Be aware of posture
• Keep eating out at work to minimum
• Go to Burning Man

The most surprising was the note of my current weight at the beginning of the year, 148. Now – 152. Not huge, but 4 lbs on my frame does make a difference especially when I’ll be running 26 miles later in Jan for the marathon. Unfortunately I didn’t do a body fat measurement at the beginning last year so I could compare to now. (Idea for next year) So I can’t really tell if I’ve put on four lbs of muscle or just fat. I’d like to say it’s muscle, but I know better than to assume that, especially with the knowledge of knowing I haven’t been doing exercises to build muscle. Just running. My legs may be muscular, but they didn’t get that much bigger!

Good techno released out by the SPLIT boys recently. I wish that would release stuff more often. It’s really a MP3 of a british radio show, but it highlights lots of new releases and it’s nicely mixed. Plus they give a track listing of everything they play. I’m looking forward to santa bringing me a special little something that will enable me to put all my vinyl into digital format. It will be quite the task to get it all done, but I’m looking forward to spending time with my music and re-listening to it. It feels like it’s been years. Ahhh techno! My old friend!

It’s now been just over a week. After taking Mauzy to the vet and leaving her there for the day because of blood in her urine, I got a call from the vet telling me all kinds of bad things. At that point I made the difficult decision to put Mauzy down.

She had been with me since August of 1995. My sister had gotten Mauzy with me at the SPCA here in Houston shortly after we had graduated from college and were living back at home.

She had been with me through NINE different moves, 5 girlfriends, 1 ex-wife, lived with 6 other cats (up to four at one time) and a dog! Whew!

So it was really hard to make the decision to put her down week before last. She had been with me for so long and through so much. Of course with her gone now, those things that she was doing that irritated me, now are things that I miss – Kneeding on my chest in the bed while i sleep, licking my face and feet while I do stretches on the floor, crawl all over the desk while I type at the computer. I also remember how calm she was about having her claws clipped. She wasn’t declawed, but on the first day when I brought her home, I clipped her claws and continued to do so on a regular basis. Towards the end it never was an issue for her. It was always the most surprising thing to see with the vets when I would take her in for checkups and what not. “She’s so calm!” is what they would often exclaim.

Still the last things I remember about her was the last moments. They are really etched in my memory. My girlfriend and I went to the vet at the end of the day to be there. We were waiting in the room when the vet doc brought her in on a small rug. Mauzy had a tube already placed in her arm so that the injections could be done easily. The doc left us for a little while with her and told us to knock on the door when we were ready. It was then when I really started breaking down and crying. It was the time I just kinda let go. I felt bad cause I didn’t want her “last day” to have been cooped up in a vet cage. Mauzy was awake and aware what was going on, but she seemed a little confused. She kept looking around in the room. But she was calm on the rug. She didn’t try to get up. I dunno if she was tired or what, but she just layed there with her head up. I had her head cradled in my hands and just looked into her eyes. I just spoke her name and said everything would be alright. It was nice just being there close to her. After a while, probably about 5 mins, we knocked on the door and the vet doc came in. She brought a tech to assist. I kept Mauzy’s face in my hands while the doctor admininstered the sedatitve. Mauzy gave me a last lick on my forhead and on my hand. That was when her tongue stopped moving out of her mouth. Kinda just stuck out. It was a little disturbing, so I covered up her mouth so I wouldn’t look at it and just peered deeply into her eyes. The last thing I know she saw was my tearful face. I watched whispering her name, as her eyes dialated. I was vaguely away of the doc who then switched to a stethascope and was then checking for breathing. Shortly thereafter she announced that Mauzy was gone. I gently layed her head down and turned her head away and then just let myself be held by my girlfriend for a little while. After settling down we chatted with the vet for about a minute and then we left. I really didn’t feel that needed to stay with Mauzy’s body for any amount of time at that point. She was gone and that was that. We walked out and headed home.

Couple of things to pass on to anyone who puts their animal to sleep to know before hand:

• It is most likely that the animals tongue will loll out of their mouth when they become tranquilizered. While this is normal, it is kinda disturbing to see. Be prepared.
• Pre-pay before the animal is put down.
• Have someone drive you there and back.

Mauzy was a wonderful companion and she is sorely missed. I will be taking a long break from getting another animal.

Mauzy on my head.

I have a cat. Her name is Mauzy. She probably about 12-13 years old. She’s getting old. She’s slowing down and much more arthetic and ever. She’s on a few meds for her joints. Today I noticed that she is urinating blood. Not good. From a previous and expensive visit to the vet, I know that one of her kidneys isn’t working, so I don’t know if that is contributing to the bleeding. I also suspect that she might have a bladder infection, but she hasn’t taken to peeing everywhere. I’ll be calling the vet in the morning.

So today and yesterday I’ve been plagued with some knee pain. It’s a familiar pain that often goes away. Today I posted up a photo of me pointing to where it’s hurting on the Houston FIT forums. They have the Koala Doctors on one of the forums giving out some answers to common questions. I’ve used them before and they are good for somethings.  I’m going to give them a call tomorrow, but I’m also going to look into the Tree Docs. This is another group of doctors that are on location at the meeting place every saturday. The Koala Doc suggested that I may have Patella Tendonitis. All I can say is … bugger.

It’s has been written about by many others much more eloquently than I ever will be able to do. But recently I had been drinking some flavored stuff that we had gotten from a raffle winning. Last week I was trying to force some down on the way into work. (My commute is about 25 mins in the car) I think I finally gagged on it and nearly puked. I finally had had enough of that awful stuff. Free or not, I could no longer drink it. So this weekend I made it out to my favorite coffeehouse, Catalina Coffee where I picked up a pound of freshly roasted Mexican bean. Awesomeness has come back into my mornings. Yay.

This morning an easy 40 min run was stopped early due to pain in my knee. I’ve had this pain before and it’s been on both the left and right legs. Usually it disappears after a couple of days. I only had a 10 miler this sat, so I’m surprised that it’s still painful. It was much worse after the 1/2 marathon, 25k & 30K. Maybe I was so jacked up on ibuprofen I didn’t realize!

On Saturday, due to some after run events that we were required to go to, I ended up letting myself get driven to the park for my  training run. Interestingly enough, the whole event turned into a bad arguement. Mostly dealing with not having MY car there when I returned. The person that drove me assured me that they would be back to greet me with my drink and would be there! There are several issues at work here, but the one I wanted to comment about was about changing of the routine. Many times the couches had said again and again, don’t change your routine if it’s been working for you.  Don’t wear new clothes before a race, change your breakfast before a race. In this instance, I changed my method of getting to training in the morning. Granted, it’s a training run and not a serious run, but the incident made clear to me about the importance of routine. It’s not as tangible as changing clothes or what I eat, but none the less can have an impact. Definitely something to keep in mind for the big marathon day in Jan.